Jeffrey Rowland, the most talented, handsomest, and strongest member of the Dumbrella alliance has recently announced that his formerly daily comic strip “Wigu” will be updating soon in a monthly format. This American Manga is planned to be released in paper format on a monthly basis, with the online version released a few weeks after the paper version is firmly planted in the hands of its insatiable readers.

Though opposition to his decision has been violent and belligerent, Rowland stands by his decision. “By releasing my comics in a monthly format,” says Rowland astutely, “I will be able to give more meaning and depth to the stories that are inside me; the stories that are inside of all of us, the stories that weave the very tapestry of our fragile reality.” Rowland has yet to decide on a printer for this independently published work of mind-boggling genius, but insists that it will be released by February 1 even if he has to hand-print each copy with his own thick, black blood on shreds of stolen toilet paper.

Rowland concluded his announcement by thrusting his arms into the air repeatedly, the deafening sounds of gunfire engulfing the small auditorium. With a flash of light and a sound a thousand times louder than the loudest jet engine, Rowland vanished without a trace.

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