Cyberspace was rocked today with the news that wretched man-child and Dumbrella associate Andrew Bell was seen extinguishing a cigarette on the arm of a five-year-old boy.

The horror took place in front of dozens of spectators on a New York City subway. “He started smoking, and everybody just glared at him because you ain’t supposed to smoke on the subway,” says eyewitness Gloria Featherbottom. “Then he started screaming ‘what the f**k are you all looking at’ at us and he grabbed the boy’s arm and smashed the cigarette into the wrist.”

The boy, possibly a deaf-mute, apparently seemed unable or unwilling to communicate in any way. Eyewitnesses say the boy had no response to the act.

Construction worker Sal Hanson also witnessed the spectacle. “The weird thing was, the kid just kept smiling, you know? Like it wasn’t a big deal, like he’s done it a million times.”

“It doesn’t surprise me in the least,” admitted Dumbrella co-founder R Stevens. “You’ve seen the guy’s art, right?”

Deciding to upgrade the code behind a blog at 3 am is never a good idea. Dumbrella is now running the newest version of Wordpress but I broke a stylesheet somewhere. You may read to your heart’s content, we’ll fix the visuals ASAP.

Jeffrey Rowland, the most talented, handsomest, and strongest member of the Dumbrella alliance has recently announced that his formerly daily comic strip “Wigu” will be updating soon in a monthly format. This American Manga is planned to be released in paper format on a monthly basis, with the online version released a few weeks after the paper version is firmly planted in the hands of its insatiable readers.

Though opposition to his decision has been violent and belligerent, Rowland stands by his decision. “By releasing my comics in a monthly format,” says Rowland astutely, “I will be able to give more meaning and depth to the stories that are inside me; the stories that are inside of all of us, the stories that weave the very tapestry of our fragile reality.” Rowland has yet to decide on a printer for this independently published work of mind-boggling genius, but insists that it will be released by February 1 even if he has to hand-print each copy with his own thick, black blood on shreds of stolen toilet paper.

Rowland concluded his announcement by thrusting his arms into the air repeatedly, the deafening sounds of gunfire engulfing the small auditorium. With a flash of light and a sound a thousand times louder than the loudest jet engine, Rowland vanished without a trace.